


Hold my hand and let me guide you

by panicparade



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco, Young Veins
Genre: Community: trope_bingo, Gen, M/M, Post Panic! Split, Road Trip, boys growing up, future!fic, moving forward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-31
Updated: 2014-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-10 16:58:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1162239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panicparade/pseuds/panicparade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Road Trip tmrw. I’ll pck u up at 12. B rdy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold my hand and let me guide you

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Road Trip square on my [Trope_Bingo Round 3 Card](http://bloodisshrp.livejournal.com/13592.html) and Reunited Square on my [CottonCandy Bingo Round 2 Card](http://bloodisshrp.livejournal.com/13592.html)  
> Un-beta-ed.

“Do you believe in that alternate realities bullshit?”

Finally Spencer turned his head a little to show he was listening. This had been going on for an hour, ever since he’d picked up Ryan from his house and they’d started driving down the road out of Vegas towards no particular destination in mind. The Ryan he’d last talked to, when they’d first met up right after the “diverging of paths towards different musical avenues” it had been awkward to say the least the whole thing had been forced and planned and by unspoken agreement they’d decided to let it be, was nothing like the Ryan sitting next to him now.

This Ryan was the one he remembered by the smell of his mother’s detergent and sweat that teenage boys seem to have no shortage of. This Ryan was the one he’d held on the bad nights and he’d danced with to Backstreet Boys. This Ryan was nothing like the one who’d worn flowery shirts and vests and liked to talk in rhymes and mysteries and spewed bullshit about growing up. This Ryan was the one he’d missed the most when he’d been trying to will his demons away. This was the Ryan had been blurting out random facts and asking ridiculous questions ever since they’d started the road trip because he was nervous and _he was showing it_ , something that only Spencer’s Ryan, the one he’d loved all those years ago used to do.

Spencer let his lips curve upwards slightly, it was a heady feeling to know he was fazing Ryan because his once best friend didn’t know how to talk to him or act around him. It gave him a strange sense of satisfaction that was oddly addictive; to know that even after so many years he still held so much sway over Ryan.

“Spencer?” Ryan asked from next to him, Spencer turned to see him sprawled across the passenger seat, his long fingers plucking at the seat belt.

“Just thinking,” Spencer replied, finally punching in a location in his cars GPS; not that he really needed to because he could probably go that house in his sleep. It was more for Ryan than for him, Spencer already knew now that Ryan still trusted him and he didn’t need to drag it out any further. The fact had been proved when Ryan had gotten into his car, no questions asked based on simple text –

_Road Trip tmrw. I’ll pck u up at 12. B rdy._

“Care to share your thoughts?”

Spencer hummed and said, taking his time, “Just, about alternate realities. I think there’s some truth in them, yeah.”

“Why?” Ryan had turned towards him now, hair blowing in the wind. Spencer hated and loved that stupid leather jacket he wore everywhere. It looked good on him and yet it was a part of a transformation Spencer hadn’t been a part of.

He chewed his bottom lip and thought about it, “I think because I don’t want to believe that the choices we make are final. Like, for every fork we reach there is a road that goes the other way, yeah? So I think that there has to be a place where we do take that other road. Balance, you know?”

A part of him wondered whether this was just a way for them to delay the talk they knew they should be having. But then it had always been that way with Ryan except for those last few months before the end when the proverbial shit had hit the fan.

“So, in these other realities we’ve made different choices? Then which one is the right one?” And fuck, were they skirting the boundaries of dangerous territory or what. And as much as he wanted to, he was the last person to give assurance on the choices they’d made in their life.

He ran his fingers through his windswept hair and shrugged, “I dunno. But what I do know is that we make our own destiny and that the beauty of choices is that you always have them. We can change our mind whenever, that’s up to us.”

He saw Ryan shrug in his periphery and they lapsed into silence again, both of them thinking of ways to bring up things that have to be said.

As they switched sides at a gas station, Spencer gratefully stretching his legs, Ryan looked at the address in the GPS.

“Brendon?”

Spencer nodded and held his breath as he watched Ryan stall from getting in. He couldn’t keep the smile from his face when Ryan buckled his seat belt in and started the car, still reversing like an old man.

Spencer was still staring at him when Ryan spoke, softly, looking for assurance, “We can choose to go down the other fork any time we want right?”

Spencer reached out and squeezed Ryan’s hand, holding on, “Anytime Ryan, all we have to do is back up and go down the same road, taking all the speed bumps and smooth patches again.”

When Ryan turned to give him a grateful smile in return Spencer leaned back into his seat and closed his eyes, enjoying the wind and the sound of Ryan humming some song he didn’t know. They had time, to at least start mending bridges before they got down to the hard part. Somehow he didn’t think it would be that difficult.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm a procrastinator. 
> 
> I have so many WIP's to complete - Hdhurtfest, hdmpreg, sign up and write for BBB and also Called out in the dark. But this wouldn't leave me alone and I had to get it down. :|


End file.
